Trysts with the Fair-err Sex

Disclaimer:

“The events enlisted in this blog are non-fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is absolutely logical without any sense of coincidence. However questions pertaining to details of the persons associated with the blog are strictly discouraged. So readers are requested to kindly come up with self framed theories about the events and personalities.”

B’fore guiding you to my fascinating world of imaginative blogging I would like to enlighten you with certain rules that specifically concern the preceding blogs.

I. Readers are requested to keep off their pestering attitude and irritation skills in an attempt to make the soft-hearted blogger divulge personal facts about the persons and events associated.

II. Each and every reader is requested to go through the blog fully before concluding that the blogger is a flirtatious despo and a hysteric moron. After finishing it though…

With my ever-growing love for my readers I expect you to abide by all the aforementioned rules before proceeding with the blog. Thanking you.

1. Standard-II,KV2,CRPF BBSR

Age: 6 yrs 271 days

Lacking enuf common sense even to distinguish between d femme fatales and the whackos called guys t’was my first encounter with the hunter. She was about 3 inches taller den me and had hands probably comparable with those of Goliath. When I first saw her t’was nothing but immense fear that gripped me, shivering me from the insides. As if dat was not enuf, just to showcase her superiority I was thrown down the steps by the barbaric predator striking out three holes in my ever-so-perfect jaws. Reason’s still a mystery cuz I daren’t ask her after dis particular act of sweetness. From that day on I have lived in awe of this inhuman presence.

2. Standard-IV,KV2,CRPF BBSR

Age: 8 yrs 193 days

Primary Teachers are always pretty. So was one of mine. Most of my memories of her now are those where she’s dressed in a white saree walking in typical girly style (dose matka-jhatkas..No offence to ladies who lack it but act as if dey loathe it..:P) with a few pieces of chalk & of course the threatening duster. Her charming smile and affectionate touch had a soothing effect dat I had felt never b’fore. It was love at first sight which turned sour the very next moment as she introduced herself as “Mrs.Malhotra”. As usual yet another guy was added to the list of ppl who had der first crush brutally crushed.

3. Standard-XI, KV2,CRPF BBSR

Age:16 yrs 16 days

“Bhaiya…I saw u during the extempore..u were amazing”

Golden lines in my scratchy love life. Every girl had literally used her long-nails to give break-ups & distortions to my future. But she came like light at the end of the tunnel for me.. Bringing hope n belief along with her. Even though the conversation starter linked us through a different relation I always had enuf rakhis in my arm during Rakshabandhan to be forced to make a mockery of the word*.Decent looks, mesmerising aura, a hearty touch and most importantly straight forward approach in spite of my unlucky repute of being a teacher’s kid cajoled my clairvoyance to predict a love like never before. Though it did turn out like a love never before dying even b’fore a single exchange of words as she chose my “Do-I-Look-Nigerian” benchmate over me.To add to my woes I discovered a few days later that she was caught kissing him by none other than my mom(yeah..i know..my lyf’s a big “ROFlMAO”).God had given me the Red Signal and from that day I never looked back at the S**t.

4. 2^nd year,B.Tech,NIT Rourkela

Age:17 yrs 307 days

Sophomores..Finally..no fundas..no ragging..no brutal stares..n as an added incentive u become the one whom u had despised n avoided throughout first year..newayz it meant single rums free from devilish eyes scanning ur each n every move on ur so called “personal” computer..a random meeting..a gentleman-ish frnd request n d relation was on cards..from late night chats to calls..the story advanced rapidly den most..amazingly the rate of detachment was even faster..ending in jst over two days..time made us realize dat it was not god but our gf-ing n bf-ing tendencies which had rammed us into a relation..n very soon a peaceful n world’s happiest break up happened..d same lines echoed 4m both sides wishing each other a better partner for future n parting ways as frnds..

I hav played wid d nos enuf n wud now love to settle down wid no.5..so fellas wish me luck n find me a suitable lady..grateful as always..

*srry abt all dose gals who wasted der money buying rakhis 4 me..u were never my sisters..:P

The Prof Who Stole My Girlfriend

“How much does 2/3rd of 687 make out” a panicked guy scrambling thru pieces of loney trigos jst askd.
”Watevea..jst let it be 413” came the reply.
“Fine, u gt 412..urs is 417..u take 407 dis tym..n think of more guyz”d first guy said again.
Newayz datz how it was decided on the no of questions solved by each guy prior to Prof.”I-spare-no-one” showing up.It’s been 3 long yrs since dat happened n now 2day ,aftr blasting off thru 2 yrs of engineering thru sheer gaming n roaming skills, I am merrily making my way to attend a frnd’s bro’s marriage function.”Bara-yatri”,guess datz wat we oriyas call it, is all about jumping dancing growling shrieking n letting urself loose.U may assign wateva civilized terminology to it but it was nthng but d showcase of spl nitr wild art technologies dat particular afternoon.Panting heavily and soaking in sweat, still not devoid of dose "ever active desperate eyes" scanning for future brides, we finally arrive at d Mandap. A grand welcome,as xpectd, sharbats ,cold drinks, lassis n wat not..the party was exploding.Guyz were mostly Nitians.Maybe he didn’t have ne frndz from IITs or maybe IITians were nt allowed to enjoy lyf as we did.Lyf’s a blast if u r 2nd best..u dun need to live upto expectations but u can always argue dat u r d closest dat one can get to d best.
A ravishing pink lehnga n cute dimply smile was all she needed to sweep me off my feet. Luking damn gorgeous , wid her sweet n sensitive eyes ,affectionate expressions , a feeling of eternal love grippd me n d me-inside-of-me started shouting,”moron,shez ur destiny..grab her”.She was a complete my-kinda-gal..i was almost on d verge of calling dad n telling him I found his futr daughter-in-law but for some irrelevant reasons decided otherwise.Newayz d breathtaking excitement was too much to swallow , so I decided to take my frnds into my personal trust circle just for a day n show dem der “futr-bhabhi”.Dey were doubly excited n I gt even unexpected but nice array of comments from d bad boys of nitr.
D function jst died down in a while..but it was long enuf for me to gather her name,school n oder personal details dat can’t be disclosed here*.Newayz d rest of d vacation days jst sped of lyk a veyron testing for itz velocity potentials.
Back to nitr n framing strategies for impressing my lady love,I was jumpy n cockier den a jungle-ful of hungry apes. Sadly d jumpy me didn’t last long, a shocker jst pierced my heart rite through ,few days after.D guy said,”Ur chick..,shez pregnant n getting married to ur Professor”.Wat the eff.I jst rewinded it again n tried to erase dat part of my memory ,pinched myself a couple of times, only to realize dat my Prof had screwed up my lyf yet again.After toying wid my intellectual and analytical mind for 2 long years he had come bak to haunt me again.N as if der was no oder alternative he had to bang my chick.I guess I will need more den one “wat the eff” for this.
D news was dat she was deeply in love with him n rumours almost confirmed dat she was pregnant(:O…:O…:O).Moreover, she n her new found love in Mr.Bald head,whu says he has no degrees cuz he burnt dem aftr lagging behind on a gold medal race(I mean,academically),had decided to sue her family on trying to forcibly separate dem.I should’ve thought ,”wow!!her parents must b proud of having such a child(sarcasm intended..idiots plz skip).Thankfully shez nt wid me”.But d blindfolded love driven eyes poppd up the same question again,”God!!why me??”.It was true love from my side n it was repaid wid a thing pretty close to d delhi mms scandal ,atleast according to my ratings.
Even though I intend to chng d course of d story n make it a happy ending wid me kissing Snow-White n Mr.Baldy having to play d roles of all seven dwarfs put together,it my frnds isn’t dat way.She,still,is happily married to him n m still searching for one more lehnga,no pink dis tym though.
Hopefully all nitrans are empathizing atleast .I hope all of u get one such prof in ur lyf.Let all of u enjoy a feel of “Profs-Who-Steal-Ur-Girlfriends” type professors.Best of luck buddies..:P
*Mail me ur id and d id of anoder lehnga gal n u may jst get lucky wid d personal details.:P
Cheers.\m/\m/